


Of Nightmares and Summer Holidays

by maraudersareourkings



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Hogwarts Sixth Year, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Nightmares, Runaway Sirius Black
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:01:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24542743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maraudersareourkings/pseuds/maraudersareourkings
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 27





	1. Amortentia and a Handful of Sleepless Nights

Sirius Black woke up with a start in an armchair by the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room. He didn’t remember falling asleep, but knew in an instant that he had missed something.  What was it? In his fuzzy sleepiness, he thought about the dream that had awoken him.

He was at home, it was the previous summer holiday. His family was dealing out their standard oral abuses, but suddenly all was quiet. Sirius left his bedroom and walked slowly down the stairs, to find the bodies of his family strewn across the stairs and floor. He let out a sob as he stepped over his brother Regulas’s body. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, his mothers voice was shrill and horrible, chanting  ‘YOUR FAULT! YOUR FAULT!’

Sirius was no stranger to this dream. By now, he knew perfectly well that his family would be safe in their beds. He would have received an owl if anyone had been killed. Sirius shuddered and pulled his blanket around him tighter. The common room fire was still lit, though he knew it was late in the night.

He looked down. His blanket was not a blanket at all. It was Remus’s sweater.  Why was Remus’s sweater on him like a blanket?  Sirius looked around the empty common room. Out the windows, he could see that it was a crystal clear night, bright stars twinkling in the crisp fall air.  _ Stars... night... sweater... Damn it _ _._ He had missed Astronomy.

He quickly stood, the sweater falling off of him and a small bit of parchment hitting the floor. Sirius bent down, picked it up, and read it over.

  
_Padfoot -_

_ You could use the sleep, mate. Remus and I will fill you in on what you missed.  _

Sirius scoffed. He would’ve been fine being woken up by the rest of the Marauders. He had missed another class. Usually missing class never bothered him, but this time he wasn’t awake to properly use his free class hour for mischief. 

His sleepy brain pieced it all together. He had been sitting by the fire with his best friends, killing time before their astronomy lesson. Peter was playing a game of wizards chess with Frank Longbottom, James was messing with the map they were working on while babbling about Lily Evans to Remus, who was not listening and was reading a book in the armchair closest to Sirius’s. Sirius was watching the fire, mind wandering to their potions lesson they’d had that day with the Slytherins. 

They had been learning about amortentia, love potion that smelled of whoever you loved. Slughorn had brewed a large pot of it and sat it on his desk, the aroma enough to fill the entire room. Sirius stood in the corner in his usual spot with his closest friends, when the smell of the potion reached his nose. At first, the potion just smelled sweet like roses, until it began to change.  _ Book pages... autumnleaves... chai tea... chocolate...  _

Sirius has been jolted from his momentary haze by James loudly remarking that Lily Evans must not have showered in a week, because she stunk up the whole room. At that, Severus Snape had tackled James.

Sirius had fallen asleep in front of the fire, James scribbled the note, and Remus must’ve draped his sweater over Sirius and they all had left for astronomy.

Sirius signed, held the sweater in his hands, buried his face in it, and inhaled deeply. For a moment, he caught the scent he’d smelled in potions. He stood, pulling the sweater on over the top of his crinkled white button down, the sleeves slightly too long for him. Pulling his bag onto his shoulder, Sirius strode at a brisk pace out of the common room and towards the astronomy tower. 

* * * 

It had been a week since the incident in front of the fire, and Sirius had barely slept since. He had tried everything; sleepytime tea, counting sheep, reading stories, and a number of other things. Although part of him didn’t want to sleep, because most of the time when he was asleep he has nightmares. The few times he could sleep were small increments of free time with his friends steady conversations filling the air around him in a cozy haze. However, these moments were few and far between during the week. 

It was Friday, and Sirius was running on fumes by now. His whole body was aching from lack of sleep, and he was in a horribly bad mood. He threw himself in the armchair in the corner of the common room and looked up. There were maroon and golden stars painted like constellations on the pointed ceiling, Gryffindor banners and tapestries of famous Gryffindor alumni high on the walls. His mind wandered to the upcoming summer holiday, and he winced. He couldn’t stand another summer of nonstop abuses from his family.

Sirius knew that the Potters’ door was always open to him. Ever since James’s parents had met Sirius, they’d treated him as a second son. He had a completely open invitation at their house, anytime he wanted or needed to drop by, he could. Sirius was forever grateful. Another door that was always open was the Lupin’s. Sirius had spent as much time as possible over the last few summers hopping between the Lupin’s and the Potter’s.

This year, however, had been the last straw. For months, Sirius had been tormented by nightmares of the happenings at Number 12 Grimmauld Place. This summer would be different. He wouldn’t put up with it anymore.

In his armchair, he felt the sweet feeling of sleep wash over him, just as the portrait hole slammed open and he was jolted awake. He looked up, just in time to see Lily storming up to the girl’s dormitories in a flurry of anger.   
  
“Well how was I supposed to know that it wasn’t just your perfume or something?!” James yelled up the stairs after Lily. 

They had been having this argument since the amortentia incident. It was pretty annoying, especially to sleep-deprived Sirius. Remus had followed James into the common room, and had walked over next to the armchair that Sirius was sitting in. 

Sirius was fuming with anger. Remus clearly sensed this, and sat on one of the arms of the chair. Sirius moved to stand up and yell at James, but Remus reached out and ran a few fingers through Sirius’s hair. This was a pleasant distraction, and enough of one to take murdering James off of Sirius’s mind. 


	2. A Peaceful Morning

After a week of painfully sleepless nights and wonderings about the smell of the amortentia, it was finally the weekend. It happened to be a weekend that the older students were free to go to Hogsmeade. The next full moon wasn't for another week, rendering the Marauders free to do as they pleased. For James that meant following Lily around and bothering her to admit her undying love for him, which in her words, 'was as likely to happen as Mcgonagall wearing jeans to teach a class'. Peter went scurrying after James, as usual. 

Sirius's plans revolved more around his sleep schedule and what a certain other young man was doing. 

Sirius laid in bed in the late morning hours of Saturday and stared at his bed curtains. Why had the love potion smelled so much like his friend? The more he thought about it, the more clear it became. The way Remus brushed the hair out of his face absentmindedly when he was focused at something. The butterflies in Sirius's stomach when Remus's hand brushed his while doing partner projects in class. The way the morning sunshine cast beams of light on the mousy-haired boy after a full moon in the Shack. The way Remus's gaze seemed to linger on Sirius when James and him would get up to their usual mischief. Just thinking about these little things gave Sirius butterflies. 

Plus there was the fact that Sirius was always comforted by Remus's presence. Moony was a quiet, peaceful soul, most of the time just reading his books or being the brains behind the pranks the rest of the Marauders liked to pull. He always seemed to calm Sirius down. He was most at ease when Remus was seated in the squashy armchair next to his in the Gryffindor common room.

The dark haired boy laid half awake, half asleep in his bed until he heard the quiet rustling of a book page turning from the bed next to his. Slowly, he sat up and pulled on a pair of socks, groggy from staying up late the night before. Sirius couldn't stand the cold morning floor on his feet. He padded over to Remus's bed, and plopped himself down on the foot of it. 

"Morning, Padfoot" Moony said without glancing up from his book. His hair was messy from sleep. 

"Mornin, Moons" Sirius said, falling the rest of the way over on the end of Remus's bed. "You do realize it's Saturday, mate?"

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"Saturday's you usually get up painfully early and take your book down by the lake. You always say how peaceful it is when the whole school's still in bed, just you outside in the fresh air."

Remus looked up from his book. "I didn't realize you were paying that much attention. You're usually still asleep by the time I'm back."

Sirius shut his eyes, still sleepy and needing his morning coffee. Why had he been paying that close to Moony's habits? It doesn't necessarily concern him. "Where's the rest of the lot?" 

"Went to breakfast about an hour ago. Probably throwing toast to the giant squid."

"Moony, why are you still in bed?" Sirius rolled over and rested his chin on Remus's knee, looking at him. 

Remus shut his book, set it down, and sighed. "I know you haven't been sleeping much. It's the nightmare again, right? Sirius-" Remus reached a hand out to touch Sirius's hair. Both of them looked at each other, and Sirius swore he could see a flash of something in Remus's eyes before he quickly blinked and looked down at the book. "Could I help somehow? I hate to see you like this."

Sirius was taken aback. He didn't realize that Remus would've caught onto what's been up with him. But still, help, especially from Moony, would be nice. "Are you going to Hogsmeade today? We could go to the Three Broomsticks for butterbeers and think up some ideas."

Moony smiled. "Only if we sneak in through the Honeydukes tunnel, I need to stock up on chocolate. Running dangerously low."

Sirius smiled back. Hogsmeade, with Remus Lupin.


End file.
